9 Confusing Signs That Indicate A Deep Love In A Relationship
There are relationships of couples that do not fit together, which creates quite a bit of friction and quarrels between the two parties who seek for relationship advice. A toxic relationship of this kind does not benefit any of the parties, and it is definitely advisable to examine it closely to see if it should continue. In contrast, there are relationships that are cut short not because of a basic mismatch between the spouses, but due to a lack of understanding that results from a misinterpretation of what has been said. Sometimes our spouses say things that hurt us deeply even though they claim that was not their goal. Although it sounds a little strange, sometimes behind such abusive things lies love that is expressed in a way we are not used to. As in many other cases, the 9 offensive things in front of you will only hurt you if you choose to look at them as such. There is a good intention behind these actions that we do not always interpret correctly, so it is advisable to examine yourself from time to time and check whether the sentence your spouse told you was due to bad intentions, or ones that are completely pure and stem from a deep love for you.
“You were so talented, why did you not continue your art studies?”, “You can be a director. Why do you compromise on yourself?” And other similar sentences hurt us at particularly sensitive points and flood emotions we try to repress. When your spouse tells you such sentences, you may feel like they are playing on your emotion and even trying to point out flaws in you, but this is not true. Behind such sentences is a belief in you and your ability to achieve achievements that you may have given up for one reason or another, and a desire to improve your life as you deserve. The intent behind this concern is completely innocent, and there is often a desire behind it to push you forward so that you will be happy with your life, so there is certainly no reason to be offended by it.
- Telling the truth in full
When asking your spouse what you look like or whether they liked what you made for dinner, be honest with yourself; Are you looking for compliments or want to hear the truth, even if it is unpleasant? Many of you will probably say that they are looking for compliments when they ask these kinds of questions, which is fine. At the same time, it is not fair to ask your spouse to express their sincere opinion and then be offended by it when it does not match what you wanted to hear, especially if in other areas you want your spouse to be completely honest. If they are indeed honest with you, take this as a compliment and rejoice that you have spouses who tell you the truth even when it is not easy, which indicates an honest character that is very important in a relationship.
“What did you do today at work?” Or “Who called you from an unidentified number?” They are examples of questions that many of us feel like an invasion of privacy. If we break down these questions into factors, we will understand that there is also something very positive behind them – expressing interest. If your spouse sometimes throws questions at you, it is a sign that they are interested in your life and want to hear about what you are experiencing and feeling, about new people you have known and in general how your separate periods of time are going. As long as you do not have trust issues or a jealous spouse, do not interpret such questions as snooping and get upset because of them, but rejoice that there is a person in your life who is interested in you even when you think your life is sometimes gray and there is no reason to ask deep questions.
- A desire for physical distance
You are going through a difficult period, you need renewed strength and peace to do so, and you have the idea to go for a walk alone without interruptions. These feelings are completely normal and unrelated to your partner, and the same is true when it happens to them. If your spouse wants some time apart from you to clear their head, get their lives in order or just rest a little, try not to take it personally. We all have difficult times when we feel the need to be alone, regardless of our love for our spouses, which is completely natural. If you feel that your partner is moving away from you at times, try not to be offended by this because when he does think and sort out his thoughts, he will come back to you with renewed strength and not be as irritated and frustrated as he was before.
- Spending free time separately
Our days are all busy with work, arranging these and other duties, and between one task and another we also need to find free time to spend with our spouses. This shared pastime is extremely important, but what happens when our spouse prefers to devote his or her free time to other people? Unlike times when one spouse feels the need to be alone, when he or she makes a choice to spend free time with others many more negative thoughts may develop in the other party’s head. Keep in mind that the feeling that comes from our spouses not inviting us to spend time with their friends is not always pleasant, but most of the time there is no hidden intention in this behavior. Sometimes this desire stems from a longing for their friends, sometimes because they have hobbies that you do not find interesting and there is nothing wrong with that, so there is no need to be offended when it happens.
- Make comments about your weight
We all sometimes need reinforcements from the environment that tell us we look good, which is all the more true when it comes to our spouses. However, there are times in life that our appearance changes and we gain weight in a way that can be dangerous to our health. Some people will shut up and tell you nothing, but there are couples who will wake up to your weight when you have difficulty breathing up the stairs, start snoring or suffer from other symptoms related to obesity. When they realize that such an increase can be dangerous for you, your spouse probably does not want anything to happen to you that will harm you. While it is not pleasant to hear certain comments about our weight, some people in our lives will continue to shower compliments on us so that we are not offended even though our bodies are unhealthy. On the other hand, spouses who feel comfortable telling you that your health may be in danger are not trying to harm you but on the contrary – they want you to be healthy, whole and live by their side for as many years as possible. As long as the statements are said in a spirit of concern, accept them with understanding, but if your spouse stings and teases you about your weight it is a different story and you should not go over it in silence.
- Failure to pay special attention to various events
One of the most pleasant things in relationships is the feeling that we are special in the eyes of our spouses, and that we have a warm corner in their hearts. The problem is that expressing constant affection is not possible at all times, and there are social situations in which our spouses treat us normally and do not shower us with love as we would like. Many people may feel that they are not special in the eyes of their spouses when this happens, but this feeling is far from reality. If your spouse treats you as always, it means that they are satisfied enough with your relationship and do not feel the need to pretend that you are a sticky and loving couple at all times. Affection can be expressed in a variety of ways, and if your partner does not make an effort to show it in a special way among others, he probably feels confident enough in your relationship without the need for masks that cover up such and such problems.
- Making unwanted comments
You bought a cabinet for assembling, you get excited for the project and take out the tools to start the craft. Suddenly some of the screws do not fit, the results start to look a bit shaky and from the side your partner gives you tips and comments without asking for help. You start to get frustrated and offended that he thinks you are doing a bad job, and even condescends in whatever he “shares his wisdom.” In moments like these, it is advisable to press the pause button of the nerves and think for a moment what is meant by your partner’s comments. Does he want to tease you or just help you get the best result? Most of the time the second option is the right one, as no one wants to see their partner struggle with a problem and become frustrated in the process. This is all the more true when it comes to mistakes you make towards fulfilling a common goal, such as the same locker that will be used by both of you, or the way you teach your child something. There is no malicious intent behind any comment, especially if your spouse is doing it to help you, so you should accept them with the same love that is behind them.
- Staying away during / after a fight
None of us like to get into fights with our spouses, but when sharing life with someone it is natural that there will be disagreements that will lead to occasional flare-ups and arguments. There will be times when you will find yourself in such a quarrel during which or at the end your partner will go to another room to get away from you. Sometimes we get hurt by it, but when the winds are stormy it is natural that we want to take some distance to relax and sort out our thoughts. When this happens, your partner does not necessarily want to get away from you, but from the quarrel so that he can think a little and return to a calmer discussion. Not only should it not hurt you, but to make you happy because your partner would probably rather be silent for a few minutes than let the quarrel slide into unpleasant streaks. When an argument starts to get problematic, it is important that you too know how to step back, relax and get back ready for a conversation like your spouses do.