Everyone Has A Boyfriend But Me
“Everyone has a boyfriend but me!” is a sentence we hear all the time. We get this complaints quite often; “I do not know how to have a relationship,” she said. “I do not know how to hold a man. They run away from me and when they do not run away, then it is I who drives them away. I am never satisfied and always strive for more. You know what? I think I will just give up.”
The holiday was approaching and she felt lonelier than ever. Fulfilled that she had to sit alone at the holiday table next to her three married sisters and their children, and look down on the looks of pity and concern.
But now the real felt has arrived, it is called HOLIDAY. A day and a half or more where she will have to sit alone in her apartment, without anyone.
This year she will no longer spend the holiday with Danny, who used to pamper her every Friday with a bouquet of red roses, nor with Ronen, who was ten years older than her and really wanted to get married already, but she was so young and innocent and did not feel ready for a wedding and children.
Nor would she spend it with Willie, the tourist from England who begged her to move in with him, and despite the electrifying connection they had, she did not agree to uproot her life from her homeland. So many memories resonated in her mind and made her heart beat faster, some sweeter and some less so.
She called me a few days ago, and sounded more tormented and desperate than ever. When I asked how I could help, she stated that she was a “failure.” I realized she needed to unload and just let her keep talking.
“I do not know how to have a relationship,” she said. “I do not know how to hold a man. They run away from me and when they do not run away, then it is I who drives them away. I am never satisfied and always strive for more. You know what? I think I will just give up.
Why chase after something that will never come?”, She wondered in her voice. The broken.
I was silent. I did not know what to say to a woman writhing in pain, a woman whose heart was broken to pieces by a shattered hope. Another moment of silence passed until I remembered all those customers who come to me on the verge of despair.
After all, these are legitimate thoughts that went through all of our minds, at least once in our lives. Who has not suffered from heartbreak and thought to himself that his life is over? We all have breaking points and it’s okay to get to them.
It’s okay to mourn failed relationships, it’s okay to mourn an impossible relationship, it’s okay to crawl into bed under a blanket and not get out of it for two days. But it’s wrong to lose hope.
“Only one is needed,” I replied. “Besides, who said that someone who is not in a relationship or a relationship is a failure? Who said someone who did not find a relationship until age 40 so something is definitely wrong with him?
Who determined what is the right age to marry or have children?”, I asked her. I explained to her that there is usually a reason why we are not in a relationship, a reason that sometimes we are not even aware of.
Sometimes we choose partners who do not suit us, partners with whom on the one hand we have crazy chemistry and strong sexual attraction, but on the other hand also polar goals that will never be met.
Most of us repeat the same wrong patterns over and over again and fall into the eternal trap of falling in love and heartbreak and back again for goodness sake. Lots of vacancies work with the emotion that takes up all the space in the heart, leaving no space left for reason.
“The holiday is a time for dumping and soul-searching,” I reminded her. “But before we apologize or forgive others, it is important that we first forgive ourselves. We will lovingly accept all the unsuccessful relationships and mistakes we may have made.
Like throwing away sins,” I said, “we will throw away all the sadness, pain, scars and traumas we have experienced in previous relationships, and open up New page, clean and pure.
“And because the holiday is a time for soul-searching, it is definitely worth taking advantage of it to dive into the depths of our marital history, analyze the characteristics and character of all those exes who did not suit us or slip away from us faster than we expected, and draw conclusions further. the holiday,” I concluded, “is the time. To purify the heart and soul, to cast away evil and make room for the good and right love that is to come. “