10 Facts About Healthy Relationships
10 Facts About Healthy Relationships:
1. Passion Cannot Remain At The same Level All The Time
yet on the subject of desire, another thing that many people find difficult to accept is that it fades with time, changes and is replaced by other feelings. This fact deters many couples who think that a change in the level of desire means the end of love, but this is not the case. The same intense passion we feel towards our spouses during the relationship is a physical, biological and hormonal desire, and by its nature cannot remain at the same levels. Despite the pinch in the heart that you feel the desire fade or change, it is important to know that it is replaced by feelings of love, trust and confidence that are stronger than any spark, and they are the ones that will ensure that your relationship thrives.
2. Not Every Relationship Begins With Strong Passion
Many of us look for intense sparks at the beginning of a relationship, and are often disappointed that they do not ignite in the first few encounters. The same disappointment we feel causes us to often give up on a potential relationship because we are unable to think that intense passion is not the starting point of any relationship. To get out of this fixation, it is important to understand that we are all different people, and with one person we will experience the same fireworks, but they will not always have a sequel, and vice versa. Therefore, remember to look for other important things in a relationship like understanding, consideration, common language and more. These are the things that form the basis of a healthy relationship, so it’s okay if not every relationship starts with fireworks and supreme excitement.
3. A good relationship requires a lot of work
“The strongest and most lasting relationships require a lot of hard work,” says Lisa Bloom, a clinical psychologist who specializes in emotion-focused couple therapy. According to Bloom, in today’s modern world we do not get the tools and even the understanding that good relationships require work, which leads to quite a few problems on the subject.
To illustrate the fact that you need to invest in a relationship, Bloom likens a relationship to a garden that requires a lot of investment in order for it to grow and flourish into something beautiful. Therefore, it should be understood that a good relationship cannot exist without the effort of two people with a common goal that they are willing to invest for.
Nevertheless, it is also important to understand that if most of the relationship involves effort and you feel dissatisfied and even unhappy despite all the investment, it is worth considering whether it is worth continuing it and examining what requires more professional care.
4. Children change the relationship
The fantasy of a big, happy family skipping the fields and smiling at the camera at any given moment is a dream that many of us cultivate throughout our lives. As a result, many people find themselves disappointed when a child entering the family does not bring with him all those smiling family photos, but rather challenges that in many ways undermine the boat of marital relationships.
Many couples have a hard time finding the balance between a relationship and raising a family, which causes quite a bit of disappointment from the dream they had of a happy and relaxed unit. In this case, Bloom recommends: “Be realistic and prepare together for the new role as parents.
When you think a child will improve your relationship without preparing together for the challenge, you only add complications and future quarrels. Do not expect your partner to be a great parent right away, it’s a learning process. Talk about the next changes in your life, how to deal with them together and what the division of responsibilities will be. “
5. Happy couples do not always have the same interests
The expectation that there is a person who is interested in exactly the same areas as us is unrealistic to say the least, and causes many disappointments in some people. When you enter into a marital relationship with another person, it is only natural that he will bring with him different interests that will not always attract you.
Not only should you not be disappointed with this, but you should rejoice that there are things that both of you have in common. When everyone has their own hobbies, you can spend time separately and engage in what you love and of course also spend time together in joint activities that will enrich you. In this way everyone will be able to preserve their inner world and also share things with the other side to reach the blessed balance that every couple needs.
6. Happy couples do not have to spend every spare second together
Many people want to spend every second with their partner at the beginning of a relationship because of the initial and intense infatuation they experience. Despite this, these feelings fade with time and it is natural that you will want to spend time separately from your partner.
You should not shy away from this need for physical distance because it does not indicate a need for mental or emotional distance, but rather that your relationship is undergoing natural changes. Not only is this distance not bad, but it also contributes to the relationship with your spouse thanks to the fact that each of you also gets a private and personal space that we all need at times to relax and feel good.
7. In a marital relationship one does not always like the friends and family of the other party
Entering into a marital relationship often feels like a package deal that includes a spouse, his family and also his friends. The problem with this deal is that they do not always get what they expect, and many people do not like their spouses’ friends and family. This situation is not very pleasant, but it should be understood that there is no obligation for your spouse to love the people in your life automatically, or for you to feel this way about the people in their lives.
The most important thing to do in such situations is to talk about your expectations and boundaries when it comes to friends and family who are in your life, and think about how they fit in with you. You can schedule appointments in a way that is comfortable for both of you so that there is no tension with the people you care about and your spouses and so that everyone feels good about what they received in the package deal.
8. You will go through unexpected changes as time goes on
Think about all the things you went through in the last month and the impact they had on you. Now multiply this period by several counters and you will understand how many events we all go through during life which affect us in a variety of ways. None of us are immune to the emotional and physical effects of the events we experience, so it is only natural that we undergo changes during life.
The same is true of our spouses, who develop with us as time goes on. These changes are welcome because as we grow older and gain different experiences, we learn, become wiser and understand more things about life.
A stable relationship is one that withstands the changes that the couple goes through, so it is recommended that you take into account that you and your partner will also undergo changes over time. If the changes are extreme and negative, it is important to address the issue and not suffer in a relationship that is supposed to make you thrive.
9. Seeking couple counseling does not mean that your relationship is in trouble
Today we have access to physical, mental and spiritual therapies that did not exist in the past, and it is important to use it for our needs. When it comes to a romantic relationship, seeking couple counseling is meant to help the couple reach a level playing field on issues they are unable to resolve on their own.
An external and unobtrusive point of view helps to achieve this goal, and many times couples use couple counseling to avoid future problems and not just to solve ones that have emerged over time. When you choose to go for this type of counseling, you are basically telling your spouse that you care enough about the relationship to put your ego aside and get help on important issues.
Therefore, it is important that you do not feel ashamed or apprehensive about going to couple counseling, but understand that it can contribute a lot to you and help you solve problems that you do not always have the right tools to solve on your own.
10. There is no such thing as a perfect relationship
Many of us have a solid idea of how a relationship should look and feel. Environmental stimuli like advertisements, smiling pictures on social networks and romantic and sweeping stories, make us feel that there is indeed such a thing as a perfect relationship and that one should strive for it. In the reality test this kind of relationship does not exist, as we all have an emotional charge and flaws that make up our character.
Therefore, it is unrealistic to require or aspire to a perfect relationship, since every relationship consists of a combination of two imperfect people, and that is the beauty of it. Striving for a good relationship is blessed, but to expect perfection is to be disappointed again and again, so it is important that you break free from the shackles of your imagination and see the wonderful person standing in front of you as he is.