Is it love at first sight or attraction at first sight?
Many women are getting confused between the questions “love at first sight”? rather than thinking “it’s attraction at first sight” , those two terms are completely different and that is what is going to be discussed in the following article – Works of art and literature in all cultures and at all times depict complete strangers looking at each other and without knowing each other, they fall in love. How can an emotion as deep as love be formed at one glance? Is it true love or just sexual desire, and what other elements will make this love a good and long lasting relationship?
“It may sound crazy, but from the moment I saw you for the first time, I could not stop thinking about you.” Lee Falun
“Do you remember the day we met? It was the day I knew you would be my partner.” Phil Phillips
About a third of people in Western countries report experiencing love at first sight. However, the frequency of love at first glance seems to be higher in works of art than in reality. Such love can serve as the basis for deep and lasting love provided that the characteristics revealed during the acquaintance amplify – or at least do not contradict – those that we attributed to the person at first sight.
Love at first sight often develops into love from a first encounter, an encounter that gives more time to get to know other qualities of the person like wisdom, wit and a sense of humor, and allows for shared activities like conversation. Moreover, signs of a unique, immediate and intimate relationship between two people may well appear in the first encounter, and they can be expressed for example in admiration of the person’s character, mutual attraction, enjoyment of conversation, desire to get closer to each other and “random” touches.
Deep love does develop over time, but there is great importance to the starting point for the continuation of the relationship. Studies indicate that those whose relationships begin at a higher level, tend to maintain quality over the years, while those who begin low, will often continue to experience low quality in their marriage.
Characteristics of love at first sight
“There is one pleasant and sweet lady, her face was not pleasant in my eyes; I once saw her pass me by, and she has been loved to the end of my days.” Baroga Goga
Dutch researchers led by Florin Tsuk have found that love at first sight includes a very strong initial attraction that is perceived during the encounter or later as intense love. Here are some of their interesting findings:
- Love at first sight does exist, and is not just the result of an idealization of the past (which is indeed quite common in this context).
- Love at first sight is aimed primarily at beautiful people. Such love expresses the “aura of beauty” because of which one who is perceived as a dome is also considered to have good qualities. Therefore, even though it is a first glance, the attributes attributed to a person who falls in love with him are not limited to the external attributes that the first glance sees, but also include other attributes that we cast on the beloved.
- Men report love at first sight more than women. The explanation for this difference stems in my opinion that compared to women, men give more weight to the appearance of the partner, and therefore the “aura of beauty” is more significant in them. In any case, most people only report love at first sight they have experienced in their lives.
- Love at first sight is often non-reciprocal. This finding, admittedly, surprised me, but it seems to be explained by personal and gender differences that express the strength of the tendency to fall in love immediately. Once the couple gets to know each other better, the one-sided love at first sight may catch up and become mutual love.
- Characteristics of love, such as intimacy, concern, and commitment, are lower in love at first sight than in those in a romantic relationship. This finding can be explained in light of the fact that these characteristics intensify over time and throughout the acquaintance with the spouse.
- In romantic relationships that began with love at first sight the characteristics of love such as intimacy, concern and commitment are higher than in relationships that did not begin with love at first sight. This finding expresses the importance of the starting point in a romantic relationship. The importance of the first impression is exemplified in the well-known phrase: “You will never have a second chance to make a good first impression.”
Is love at first sight sexual attraction at first sight?
“A stunning first impression is not the same as love at first sight, but clearly it is an invitation to consider the subject.” Lois McMaster Bozold
“I did not experience love at first sight, but I experienced a lot of sexual attraction at first sight.” -Divorced woman
Sexual desire is part of a romantic love, so mixing the two is natural, but also wrong. Because in addition to sexual desire, love includes components such as: trust, concern, intimacy and commitment, which are not recognizable at first glance, but signs can be identified at first meeting that indicate a higher than usual chance for their development as the relationship continues.
Indeed, the Dutch study found that these components were found to be higher in love at first sight than in dates that began without such love, but lower than their level in a normal ongoing romantic relationship.
Tsuk and his colleagues found another interesting finding: when people describe their love at first sight, they do not emphasize passion, but often cite terms such as excitement and enthusiasm.
People talk about a “paradoxical feeling of lack of knowledge and immediate knowledge,” saying that they are constantly thinking about the loved one and that they have a strong desire to be with him or her, just as there is in falling in love.
Love at first sight is indeed love, but it is not yet deep love; And it is not just sexual desire – but first and foremost the desire and continued to be with the beloved all the time, and to develop the relationship into a deep and lasting love.
Love from first chat
“Smart, sexy, sweet and sane, relatively.” Title of an online dating ad
Falling in love with the virtual world is similar to cases of love at first sight: we do not have all the required information, but we fill in the gaps through idealization. As in love at first sight, the chat skips the normal data processing process and is “injected” directly into the assessment centers in the brain.
Similar to the beauty of real-world relationships, humor also has a powerful effect on the first chat, but it may diminish once the other person’s other characteristics are revealed. If wit is perceived as superficial over time, and deeper characteristics such as generosity and responsibility turn out to be lacking, the weight of the positive initial impression of wit will diminish.
When chat first becomes an online relationship, and then a relationship outside the virtual world, the likelihood of cultivating deep love increases.
The risk of love at first sight
“The only true love is love at first sight; a second glance is already driving her away.” – Israel Gingerbread
Love at first sight seems even more natural than long-term love. As someone said, “It is easy to understand love at first sight, but how can one explain love after two people have been looking at each other for many years?”