3 Secrets to Maintaining Passion in a Relationship

3 Secrets to maintaining passion in a relationship is a frequent subject we get asked about a lot; When you first met you could not take your hands off each other, but today, after a few years together, that passion seems to have disappeared? Do you find yourself less interested in sex, less excited about it and your partner less aroused in you?
If so – you are not alone. Most couples experience a significant decrease in desire, enjoyment of sex and the amount of sexual activity throughout their relationship.
But – it turns out that desire does not have to fade in long-term relationships and that there are couples who do manage to preserve the desire. A new study followed the sex lives of over 30,000 couples and examined the sexuality of the couple at the beginning of the relationship and years into the relationship. The researchers found that about a third of couples manage to maintain a passion in the relationship.
Maintaining Passion in a Relationship
Maintaining Passion in a Relationship

A third of couples manage to maintain the passion over years of dating

What is special about these couples? How do they manage to preserve the passion?

This is exactly what the researchers wanted to find out. They examined what couples who experienced passion even after many years of marriage did differently from the couples whose passion in their relationship diminished.

So what did the couples who maintained their sexual desire do, in order to maintain the desire, unlike other couples?

The researchers found 3 main things these couples did that they think hold the secrets to maintaining sex life desire in long-term relationships.

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The 3 secrets to maintaining passion in a relationship:

  1. Talk about your sex life – In order to maintain a passion in the relationship, it is important that the couple talk about their sex life, tell each other fantasies and explain their preferences in this area. Open, direct and frequent communication seems to strengthen and increase passion. Thus, contrary to popular belief that talking about sex reduces desire, it turns out that over time, it actually increases it.

2. Try new things – In the beginning of a new relationship, spouses tend to frequently experiment with new things, which are new experiences that the couple experiences together. These experiences bring them closer together and create shared enthusiasm and interest in the relationship. However, over the years, many couples have settled on regular sex practices and physical intimacy.

Couples who manage to refresh their sex life and experience a variety of experiences, even after several years together, preserve through the excitement and enthusiasm of the experience and the new experience they share the passion and enjoyment of sex life.

3. Lots of touch and closeness – Couples who keep the passion for years, tend to hug and kiss more, even not during sex. Moreover, during intercourse they hug, kiss and laugh more than other couples. From these couples it can be learned that it is worthwhile to try to create an atmosphere of physical and mental closeness in the day-to-day relationship in general, and especially before and during sex. This closeness, apparently, forms the basis for a long-standing desire and preserves it

It seems that couples who manage to maintain passion in the relationship tend to maintain an open and honest atmosphere between them, while trying to experiment and be close to each other.

It is not always easy to create all of these within an existing relationship, especially after years of preserved relationships and patterns, so sometimes spouses need help through couple therapy or sexual therapy, in order to resolve existing difficulties, progress from harmful habits and create new conditions and situations in the relationship. Even after many years together. Thus, even if the desire seems to have been lost, it can usually be returned to the relationship.

Resources: Frederick, D., Lever, J., Gillespie, B. J., & Garcia, J. R. (2016). What Keeps Passion Alive?


My name is Nitzan but everyone call me Nitz, I am passionate about writing and especially blogs. I will focus on posts that are related to Lifestyle in general , relationship,dating advices and articles, Hope you enjoy my blog!

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