Opinion: It is allowed to go out with two until a decision is made
The prevailing perception in our society is that we should only date one guy, otherwise we will be perceived as exploiters and cheaters. but why? Why waste precious time on just one person when after a month, two months and even more, we may find that he is not right for us? If there are more options, why not check them out as well?
“I do not know what to do,” Natalie called me in a panic. “I do not know who to choose! How come I have not known any normal guy for years and suddenly I have two? What do you do ?!”
Call it “the troubles of the rich,” but Natalie is in trouble. After a long time in which she felt emotionally turned off, no less than two very successful guys burst into her life who excited her.
And yes, she’s dating both of them at the same time. Both are high quality and in each of them there is something that enchants her. She met Sam about a month ago and has already dated him several times, and she met Kevin two weeks ago by accident, and she has already dated him. Natalie feels the need to choose one of the two and is tormented by each passing day in which she has not yet closed her decision. She thinks it is immoral to go out with more than one partner, and moreover, she is afraid of “getting caught”. Yes, she’s really afraid she’s going to be locked up behind bars in a “heartbreaking” prison and be banished forever from the free-for-all scene. but why? Why would Natalie be afraid of being stoned and make a quick and hasty decision just because of the pressure of the environment? Eventually, she is supposed to find this special man with whom she will spend an entire life. So what is the hysteria about?
Natalie, you do not have to choose now. “Calm down,” I replied resolutely and she paused at my surprising words. “You should not choose until you feel you are ready to do so,” I continued. “Take your time and examine things in depth. Go out with Sam and go out with Kevin for a few more dates until you come to the right conclusion. “I did not have to survey Natalie’s face to know that she immediately raised an eyebrow. But why? Why waste precious time on just one person when after a month, two months and even more, we may find that it is not right for us? If there are more options, why not check them out as well?
So yes, in my opinion it is definitely possible to go out with two guys at the same time, knowing that in the end we will concentrate on one spouse and with him we will also move on. Besides, there are few single men and women in 2020 who immediately remove themselves from the various dating apps. Most people will remove the apps from their phone only after their new relationship becomes serious and formal. Not one minute before.
Of course my encouragement to Natalie does not mean she has to play in the hearts of the men with whom or God forbid hurt any of them. Whoever breaks hearts serially and does so out of choice and pleasure, should enter the dungeon of criminals of the most serious kind. But in normal mode? It is definitely allowed to go out with another person at the same time, until you make a decision and understand who is best for you. Of course it is important to remember to be honest with the other side and not deceive anyone. If the question arises as to whether you are dating another person, please be honest and answer that at the moment yes, but that this is a temporary step until the relationship becomes officially monogamous and serious.
Besides, I have a feeling that just knowing that you’re currently dating someone else can already cause the other side to have heart palpitations. It is very possible that they will even offer you an exclusive relationship just to make sure that you are theirs alone and not anyone else’s. You will be surprised to find that there is a successful couple coach abroad who guides women to get a ring this way. She advises women who come to her not to commit to an exclusive relationship until the coveted marriage proposal, and guess what? It works.
If so, make sure to be honest, respect the other side, do not mislead anyone, and once you make a decision – make the decision and do it respectfully and with a clean heart.